Know before you go

Warning — There’s a heat shield surrounding Palm Springs. It was put there to prevent jerks from getting in. It gets turned on in May and gets shut off in late September. This is the best time to visit. You will only be able to get through the shield during that period of the year if you're cool. Otherwise, you’ll have to come during peak season and you know why.

Palm Springs is nothing like the Hulu movie Palm Springs except that we’re all stuck in an infinite time loop and you will be too. If…


With a Netlify API image form database as the backend

The author and his dog.
The author and his dog.
I made a blog for my dog. Ask me how.

Just show me the dang code!

The code: https://github.com/craigtockman/stupid-simple-blog
The demo: https://stupidsimple.blog/

What’s included

  • Continuous deployment with Netlify, React.js and Next.js.
  • Super snappy fast page loads because its JAMStack, serverless and static!
  • A Netlify blog post form with image file upload.
  • Seo friendly dynamic meta-tag component.
  • RSS and Sitemap xml generator.
  • Infinite scroll homepage that queries the content posted to Netlify from the form.
  • Material UI styles.
  • Responsive styles and media queries.
  • A simple pagination pager.
  • Email notifications of new blog posts.
  • React hooks only up in here.
  • A sweet header that follow you down the screen.
  • A…


Is that you don’t have any.

A trippy picture of the San Francisco Bay Bridge
A trippy picture of the San Francisco Bay Bridge
Courtesy of Scott Loftesness

Wait! Before you move on, remember this! It was determined since the beginning of time for you to only get this far into the article and then leave. Goodbye, have a nice life.

Now, if you’re reading this, it was determined for you to continue reading. In fact, at any point in this article, especially the part where I start talking about turtles, when your strings get pulled and it feels as if you decided to leave, it’s because fate intervened, not because of your illusion of free will.

This is the way of…


Shibuya is a ward in Tokyo where the Japanese go, after a brutal day of work, to relieve themselves from the pressure of existence. This traditional undertaking of psychological sublimation is referred to by the locals as the Shibuya Meltdown. The Meltdown is typically performed in three acts. The first act always includes a mass consumption of sake and or beer by the participants. The second act requires a scene where the players perform long monologues filled with boasting, gossip, insipid complaints and silly nonsensical declarations of importance. The third and final act comes when one or all pass out…


In a new city two misfits try to celebrate Christmas.

A Christmas Poem. Not to be opened until 1999.

From the archives:
December 25, 1998.

The Edge Cliff
929 Queen Anne Avenue North

Seattle, WA.

(Transcription)

So This is Christmas. Xmas 98

It rained, then it snowed,
The buds in the hookah pipe glowed.
Carlos and I were on the verge of a fight,
Because we saw there wasn’t more Bud Light.
I wanted one and he wanted two,
So I got ready and put on a shoe.
I looked out the window and what did I see?
It’s raining hard. Oh my god, I got to go pee!
Bacardi and Coke will have…


On Monday afternoon I parachuted onto Identity Island. It was a mess. Trees were toppled over, there was css everywhere, the islanders were running around scared. In the middle of the island there was a volcano with lava cascading down its side…and it was there, at the top, that I met up with agent G and agent B.

I was debriefed, took a brief survey of the island, walked my way down into the jungle, and started machete-ing everything. Agent B had given me a virtual machine, so I radioed GitHub command officer M. on his way back from Mammoth…


Courtesy of Scott Loftesness

Like any good socialized herd animal, I too am susceptible to following some acceptable standard patterns of behavior acted out around me by my fellow humans. But, the weekly pattern that was thrust upon me by society, at least psychologically speaking, is one pattern, I just don’t want to get with anymore.

For example, on Monday, the first day of the pattern, generally speaking, it seems as if the majority of my contemporaries are scurrying about in some moody state of gloom and doom. One could infer that this is the acceptable behavior for Monday. If you were to get…


Welcome to San Francisco! You’ve made it. By now you’ve probably figured out that you can catch the Bart from either one of our two airports and have arrived downtown safe and sound. So now that you are here, you’re probably wondering how you are going to get to the nearest dispensary and what’s the best way to gallivant about the city by the bay after that. Here is a practical guide for visitors of how we locals prefer to make our way around our beloved San Francisco.

Tesla Model S

Tesla Model S on Howard Street

Remember that time when you wanted to go play soccer in an…


The best bar in San Francisco to grab a drink before going into the office.

That day came Wednesday. The day I always knew would come. The day when I would arrive at that giant glass door to the office high rise in the Financial District of San Francisco. That office high rise full of J. Crew bros and SoulCycle girls mucking about with their avocado shakes. When I was approaching that glass passage into the corporate tech meat grinder, I could see an entire herd of them queuing up for the elevators. …

Craigory Sparks

Marketing myself makes me cringe

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